rawr! this is not happening!
The past few weeks has been hell for me. I should have seen it coming. It almost happen approx two weeks ago while at work, but I just have to control… and I managed to stay calm and I thought that this feeling will eventually go off… I wasn’t in the mood to work overtime on Monday; I know that I will not be able to put on my full concentration on work…. I went down for a puff with El and then decided to go to QB, and alone that is… I went there with a purpose; I wanted to get a hair wax but all of the sudden, the emotional devil strikes and won! Goddammit…
I thought that the two days away from work will eventually make me feel better but then I guess I am just so wrong. Sitting in front of my computer, online and doing nothing causes everything to hit me back once again.
What is it in life that we are looking for? What is it in life that I am looking for? I don’t even know now… I remember sitting down one day and telling a friend that there has been many times in life that people are longing for that missing something in a relationship, the time, the love, the care and etc… until one find day when you meet someone who can give you that little something that you have been searching for in your partner… and there are people who ends up giving up the whole relationship that he/she has over the little something… which doesn’t quite make sense…. In the current relationship that you are having, you might already have 90% perfection, just missing out that little 10%... and you fugging give up the whole 90% of what you already have, just because of that 10% you’ve been searching high and low for? Is it worth it after all? I don’t know either…
B has been like the nicest guy I have been with so far… nothing close to the dramas I have been through in the past. I don’t know what went wrong recently… he still loves and cares for me like I am the angel in his life… I don’t know what is going on but I know the way that I am treating him is totally different… and this is obviously not fair to him at all… I don’t know what I should do… I'm in such a deep dilemma... oh God, please help me! :(
posted by pUffy @ 9:32 PM
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