.: reeys say she needs total silence NOW :.: July 2005

Friday, July 29, 2005

Welcome to my life.. again

The Opposition?
Is it really so simple to lead a life just as a normal human in this world? As I can see people living their life to the fullest, how come my life turns out the other way round? Is it that they are trying to show me what is called OPPOSITE?!

Speed kills? Word can be even worse!
Why can't people just think before the speak or acts, rather than to take action that they regret later on in life? I believe everyone make mistakes, but then.. should all the wrong doings be forgotten? I do tell myself that everyone make mistake and they deserve to be forgiven.. but then I still can't forget the things that they had done.. until my very last breath I guess... Simple things that come out as you speak might hurts a lot... I was just trying to give you a suggestion.. so why so harsh to me? Why after all the words then you apologised? I am not angry.. I am just sad.. I know you are in a dilemma right now.. but.. I am in a dilemma as well too! They say sorry is the hardest word to say.. but I think in life nowdays.. sorry has been overly used.. so to me.. sorry don't mean anything much anymore.. after all.. how many sincere apology are there anyway?

Itsy Bitsy Spider
I know I have loads of pending things to do and I am trying my very best to do it, can't you see? I am damn fucking tired everyday but then I tell myself I need to go and complete it as soon as possible... now is really the time that people say, you only have time to die.. no time to fall sick! well, but anyway anyhow.. I am just a normal lady with 2 hands.. not a spider.. alright? sigh.. I am a slow learner! so bear with it... all I need is TIME!

The Devil Within?
and when all the things are going against me, I don't need the person that I thought would understand me to go against me as well. Walking away just like that for no damn reason is something totally unfair to me. I said "get in the car" and the devil changed it and by the time it got to his ears, it became "get out of the car!" oh god damn it.. what else coming next?!

The Long Hand! :(
It is end of the month and my purse is drying up.. and wallaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa money just disappeared from my purse! oh what the fuck man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sape tangan panjang sangat nih?!?!?!?!?!?! DAMN IT!

A friend?
While I was walking under the hot sun, I can barely open my eyes though using an umbrella.. well, maklumlah we have such a hot sunny weather here in Malaysia and I thought this insane moron in the Vios is miang or something cuz he's waving at me.. I ignore him as there are many guys like that everywhere on the road.. then as I walk near to the entrance (his car was right in front of the entrance), he wind down the window and called my name.. erks.. what the heck...

So called stranger : Hey Carie!
Me : Er.. who are you?
So called stranger : you work here?
Me : Nope.. who are you?
So called Stranger?! What?! you don't know who I am?
Me : Nope.. who are you?!
So called stranger : Ian
Me : errrrrrrrrr
So called Stranger : -_-

Discovery
Uhm, it seems that I (am supposed to) know him since form3 or form4. bla bla bla but then it has been a long time.. anwyayz... I was thinking... "Hey this is a good thing.. that means I can actually forget totally about things! :D Cool uh?! :D

Sunday, July 24, 2005

To whom it may concern

There are times I do blog about people in my life.. but then it is not always you.. unless it is just like what people say, siapa makan cili dia rasa pedas...

Well this time I really have a word or two for you. In this new blog, my very first intention was to keep things simple and never to go detail in personal issue.. and me mentioning that there is a typical moron in my life doesn't mean I am referring to you unless you really think you are a moron. As what I always said, if you want to assume it this way, go ahead as long as you are happy but I am not interested to know what you are assuming, alrite? I am just so t.i.r.e.d already... anyway anyhow, I am just a bitch afterall :)

t y p i c a l

Typical .... and this words has been used very very often in conversation nowdays.

CHINESE

A friend said he dislike 'typical Chinese'. uhm, this makes me a typical chinese.. I am a 100% pure chinese and I am proud to be a Chinese. Well, however this friend said I am not categorized as a typical Chinese because I don't know mandarin well.. and I can speak fluent English. Is that a good reason? Well, so I asked him to define typical Chinese.

- a typical Chinese only knows how to speak Chinese and nothing else. This friend of mine is not Chinese and this typical Chinese teenage couple came to him and speak to him in Chinese.. and when he said he don't understand they still speak to him in Chinese... well, I believe that Chinese, though not well educated can still speak in Malay right? :-/

- a typical Chinese don't know how to give a proper french kiss.. well, I don't know about this thus I shall not comment much... maybe he had kissed a typical Chinese before? hecks... whatever!

Hm, there are loads more way for him to define the 'typical Chinese' but for me.. the way he describe them., it sounds more like the terms of 'tukaus' in my vocab :) as simple as that!

GIRL

Typical girl... or something that I have in my vocab.. well.. it is like those girlfriend material.. the kind of gentle innocent lookin girl that can make a guy fall in love easily with them as they are cute and irresistable..

I always felt that there are a lot of guys out there that are attracted to some things in some girls that I really cannot tahan!

Example:-

- the kind of girl who loves PINK a lot.. Well I know all girl have pinky.. and that's about it.. Full stop.. so why goes gaa gaa over pink? :-/ they have pink baby tee with pink bag and pink hair band and pink shoes and pink lipstick and pink everything.

- Hello Kitty & Dear Daniel. I don't know what is so great about this. It is not cute.. not adorable.. not nice to hug.. nothing! and the girls goes crazy and started to jump and shout and turn into a cartoon when they spotted this pussies at the mall.. gosh!

- The kind of girl who goes aiyer.. eeyerr.. whine and scream this and that over small small thing -_-

MORON

The typical moron. I have one in my life now I think.. I hope the moron will leave me soon cuz I would be better off alone!

Thursday, July 21, 2005

White Flag

at the very last strength that it had, it finally let go and collapsed. Surrender. My body finally cannot take it anymore and now, it's tearing apart... haaaaaaa! not that serious tho.. I am down with fever and chest pain.. pain killer please? :) Panadol doesn't work this time..

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Burning eyes . . . -_-

Restless and my eyes are burning red...

I see lights running here and there and everything is moving...

I start to have nausea and urge of running to the toilet bowl to puke!

On top of all that, how can I stand the strong smell of durians in air conditioned room?! My goodness!

W felt like throwing up the moment he stepped into a lift with durian smell and he ran out on the spot. I wonder what will happen if W is my colleague? haa haa!

Well, I gotta be strong and I cannot afford to fall sick! I AM STRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P Go to bed! night..

Sunday, July 17, 2005

SCARS

Drunk and I'm feeling down

And I just wanna be alone

I'm pissed cause you came around

Why don't you just go home

Cause you channel all your pain

And I can't help you fix yourself

You're making me insane

All I can say is

I tear my heart open,

I sew myself shut

My weakness is that I care too much

And our scars remind us that the past is real

I tear my heart open just to feel

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Another Hectic Day?

I guess I am spending TOO LITTLE time at home nowdays. I am very sorry about that mummy and daddy, but I am just so busy with everything. I am glad that we meet up in Gurney Plaza the other day though it was just for a while before I have to make a move.

Plans for later of the day...
- meet TSA...
- then meet Agnes's partner, MR Lim with TSA
- viewing time!
- meet J
- Home. Recharge energy (I hope this can be scheduled.. else I have to skip this .. *sob* )
- Meet W? or maybe not? poor thing lost all CDs and is having a bad moody morning ahead... still a long day to go!
- buy tickets
- dinner with... who? parents?
- see dalmation.. and try to find nice home for poor doggie

Half of the day gone.. Sunday is approaching and I have to go back to work by Monday! Argh!!!!!

Friday, July 15, 2005

When you have the mood for craps, this is what you will get

Friday, July 15th

The Weather
Tough life.. I am so tired! *stretch* and now I really miss my bed! Friday night and people would be out at town, wondering around, spending time with friends and hanging out and the favourite place.. but me? I am stuck at workplace and I cannot go back because it is raining cats and dogs, or dinasour and elephants! Road is flooded! How?! Pft... Who has been singing uh? :P Or was it called as THUNDER RAIN.. hee hee.. someone ACTUALLY said that.. :X Well, eventually it rained the whole night and I was freezing in my car driving home middle of the night...

The Work
Now that I am stuck here, I actually got loads of things pending to do, so many things that I know I cannot finish on time, yet I still feel like coming over here for a while to blog. Too much numbers.. all figures makes my eyes goes bling bling! Ah, now with a post, I guess it'll somehow help to refresh my tired eyes... so I guess I still need to get my heavy lazy ass back to the office and I might even have to stay after that just to finish up this nonsense!

The Missing One
I am missing J so so so much, and I gotta wait for another few more days! This is killing me! :(

and Poetic Ammo sings "Show me the money!"
money is drying off.. I am struggling.. and AT LAST.....I get my May salary, at last at last at last... after delaying so long.. finally I can breath a little! :P It was so so tight that I even had to think of how to save money, even while I am thinking of what to buy, to fill the growling stomach. I thought my boss is testing on my patience or something.. how come everyone got it except me? I called up my boss and asked, and he screwed the HR staff.. Good job! ;)

As busy as a BEE!
There's nothing much that I do in life anymore now, other than getting myself busy with my work work work work work and work. I have always been the kind of employee who pats the butt and walks out from the premises once my working hour is over, but now.. even after few hours after work, I am still in office, though there's no entitlement for OT claims. Unbelievable? Well, believe it!

The Wonders
Is this really the kinda life that I want? I really wonder.

The Call
Just when your handphone is running out of battery, that's when people starts to call. I know there's only 2 bar left. I know it can last til I get home. However, I get a call from an old friend,R... someone I know since highschool and he's only a day younger than me, cool uh? :) Anyway, had a nice conversation with him.. cathing up with life.. Then as I was talking with R, J called.. so I hang up and talked to J. Then W called! ahaaa! W was somewhere nearby my place at that time, thus the reason the call was made :P . Then while I was going out to see W, CW called to ask me if I know there's any apartments to let.. Then, that's not it.. after I finish talking to CW and I was walking towards my car, R called again! argh.. cut him off..telling him battery going to die anytime! But surprisingly... it lasted til I get home! :)

The Bad News
Will I get to enjoy my life one day or I will just be busy working my ass off til the day my heart stops pumping? Life is really so short...

- cousin bro H passed away,
- followed by Uncle SC funeral
- Uncle L's mummy passed away..
- G's cousin who is a year younger than me passed away 3 days ago due to cancer.

Now wtf is so damn wrong? :(

I don't think I am ready to face my own death yet....

The Visit
I went to visit B yesterday after work. B is just one cool girl that I do hang out with once in a while.. with S of course.. It so happened that B had infection on her wisdom tooth and seek help from dentist. Dentist removed her tooth and told her to take care in the few days after the surgery, saying it MIGHT affect her nerves, and guess what? She's being hospitalized after getting fits for 3 times! and during the 3rd time, she bit her tongue and it bleeds! :( Get well soon, B!

Friday, July 08, 2005

BAD LUCK! :(

and I thought I had run into too much bad luck already... however I was wrong.. still He thinks that there's more for me to encounter I guess... so I was on my way back home, I was stuck in a massive traffic jam! perhaps it was because Saturday is a public holiday for all Penangites! oh Whatever! But I was stuck there in the jam for quite long.. and can hardly move at all..sigh! Then this stupid lady driver came driving so close to me... and I just ignore.. well. the way people drive here in Penang, you just gotta ignore them.. as I was feeling so bored there, I started to listen to the music.. while looking around at the cars around me, playing games on my hp, and suddenly the lady bang my car! oh what the heck man?!

I got down the car, seeing that her car is still kissing mine. and she can't remove her car cuz her damn kangaroo bar is stucked in between my back tyre and the bumper! -_- What a day!

So I ended up wasting half of my day at the car workshop yesterday! -_- No chance for laksa as planned.. all plans ruined! :(

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

dot dot

The incident

They said, "there will always be a first time in everything".. and now I really agree with it.. I brought my shoe to a shop, which I heard is good at reparing shoes, and doing some keys and locks kinda stuff.. they examined my shoe and then he said..

Him : RM80 for this pair of shoe..
Me : What?! But I bought this shoe for only RM99.90!
Him : Yeah, but then the material they used to produce this shoe is not as good as what we will be using to repair your shoe
Me : o.O ... Forget it.. I will get a NEW shoe! pftttt!
Him : Okay lah! RM70
Me : (what the fuck?! Can bargain summore ah?!) Nevermind *smile* I better get a NEW one! :P

The medication

Leg still hurts like hell! I still can't get myself a nice shoe so that I can still walk, and won't feel so much pain.. What should I do? Yet I gotta drive such a long long way tomorrow.. sigh.. I hope it won't cramp again. But then, where lah got cramp stays so long one?! knn!

The Moment

Counting down to tomorrow morning, they'll be there. But so near, yet so far.. I will still have to go to work, and by the time I finish work, it's late already! no more fun! :( So eager, lookin forward... I miss you guys!

The Fight

As I was having lunch with her, a guy (let's call him A) approached us, selling newspapers.. then another guy (and he's B) came not long after that, shouting at A, warning him not to sell newspaper at his 'territory' and when he see that A is still there, he hit A with helmet!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh what the fuck with this moron?! Just because of newspapers?! Damn!

Compliments?

Hey, you look fair in pink
You look nice today, I guess cuz you are wearing black.. contrast and it shows that you are fair.
You look fairer in white...
and the list goes on with the different colours I wear...

me : (irritated) why can't you just accept the fact that I am fair.. and FAIRER than you?!
friend : (pfttt) no.. I am fair too
me : haa haa!

Last but not least, the weird guy...

Guy : Hey bro, you remember me?
my friend : Uhm, no.. who are you?
Guy : You seriously don't remember me?!
my friend : (looking at me, then look at the guy, face full with '?') err, no?
Guy : (looking at me) Then do you know me miss?
Me : Unfortunately I don't
Guy : You mean you don't recognise me?
Me : Yeah. I mean I don't recognise you. Come on, I've never seen you before.. so how am I supposed to recognise you?
Guy : Uhm, but I've seen you all here before in this coffee shop....
Me : uhm, *giggles* Whatever.. (continue eating)
Guy : anyway, bro. sis.. I am not here today to sell anything... but I am helping the poor to do charity..bla bla bla bla..
Friend : Okay.. how much does it cost again?
Guy : RM10 only bro
Friend : Ok.. there you go.. take it but I don't want any of those products
Guy : Oh, thank you so much bro...

bleh.. there goes the RM10!

Anyway, I bump into that same joker the very next day, somewhere the same area too!

Guy : (smiles like as if advertising some toothpaste or whatever)
Me : uhm, so now you can remember me edi uh?
Guy : Oh yes yes of course I can!
Me : -_-
Guy : Have a nice day!
Me : uhm, wokey... you too.. happy selling!
Guy : ok!

See! He's SELLING! Gotcha!

Monday, July 04, 2005

Am I really the Black Sheep?

Bad things keep happening around me.

I went to have lunch with Gie and J and things were all just fine, except for the sunny weather that is...

Gie left after lunch, while I was with J.. going for some shopping before she leaves to KL tomorrow. We were chatting all along and all of the sudden, the damn car in front of us brake all of the sudden and J didn't really noticed it. Perhaps it was my fault. I was talking to her and she turned over and look at me and when I asked her to stop, it was a little bit too late already :(

Yet the guy came down and asked how J drive, til hit his back. *pfttttt*

After going through all the hassle, we managed to settle.. after standing under the damn hot sun for almost an hour.. having so many cars slowing down to look at us.. having those tow trucks coming over, having his friends to come over and see the condition of the car.. and having my friend to see my standing there, thus she also came over and have a look -_- How embarrassing... and this is the very 1st time in my life to be in a car, which went to kiss other's back..

Though the damage was kinda severe, I am glad we were all alright.. just that J got nagged nonstop.. =x

Sunday, July 03, 2005

uhm, wtf... no idea what title to put..

Yesterday night...

As I was driving, my friend asked me to take the alternate route, saying that there's something, somewhere to show, and something to tell, so I take the turning down to the other road.. it has been quite some time since I really use that road especially at night. I can still remember years bacj when that winding road was the one I use everyday. Anyway, we reached a sharp turning and he pointed a place, more like a bushes or something over there... and there goes the story. I have heard about this but I am not sure how true it is.. according to my friend, a Chinese girl was gang raped, shoot and killed by a group of policeman over there... thus the spirit of this rape victim haunts the place until now and the main target is policeman... and that's the reason there's no policeman that uses that winding road after midnight.. well, at times you just gotta be safe than be sorry...

Today...

I always hear people talking about muscle cramp, and I see how people suffer from that. I can still remember last week when I was out with a friend and all of the sudden he start to jump around like a monkey, and then stand straight and still like a statue, later to turn over to tell me in a soft voice, cramp! I couldn't imagine how pain it is but from his expression, it really hurts alot. As I was having my beautiful nice sleep in my cozy bed, I was awaken when my leg hurts so much and I cannot even put it straight! Argh... it really hurts and there's no words to describe this damn fucking shitty pain! Now I know what is cramp! pft.. It took me quite sometime to get the pain away, and I wak out from the room looking like a crab, cuz it still hurts... -_- What a nonsense Sunday morning!

Current mission :-
- to lose the stupid fat I have all around me, which makes me looks like a meat ball
- to save money money and more money.. but before that, I must earn 1st, then only will be able to save!
- buy sunglasses
- change new hp
- buy a new pc
- clothes, shoes is something that will definitely be in the list
- jack russell? ;) one that really acts like Little Jack?
- keep my hair LONG, do they have fertilizer or something for this? I really wonder!
- more yumchar sessions! yippieeeee!
- vacation!
- and loadssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss more. heh...
- no more taking leave, unpaid or sick or annual, no leave, unless a leave for my own funeral! haa! beat that!

Saturday, July 02, 2005

There goes my beautiful Saturday morning!

- While most people are having a nice sleep and exploring dreamland, I woke up after 4 hours sleep and I get ready, and headed to work. How can life be so unfair? It is not like I work hard, and gain more... I don't want to work hard anyway, life is just too short! I wanna sleep!!

- I am so so hungry now that my stomach is growling like a lion. I can eat one whole dinasour, if and only if there is any! A real dinasour I am referring to, not those Barney the purple dinasour that we can get in Toy 'R' Us, alrite? *I gaze upon the shining stars in the sky, uhm.. nope.. there's only the bright hot sun .. with birds flying up in sky, but I do really hope there's miracle and food appears right in front of me when I open back my eyes* H U N G R Y . . . S T A R V I N G ... faints...

- I constantly feel hungry and I really eat a lot. Is it that my appetite is really becoming good or there's an anaconda hiding inside my stomach. I know I will gain weight accessively very soon and I do not want to end up being called the tai fei poh >.<

- I spent a lot on food... all food, nothing else but food... I wonder how can I survive if I were ever to be born as a Malay and I need to fast... I will definitely feel so hungry that I do not even have the strength to blog, and to even move a finger. Then my stomach will go flat, like how my chatmate used to called it 'kempis'.. haa haa....

- Talking about my chatmate, it has been quite some time since I really have a good chat with him. Wonder how he is doing but as far as I can remember, he sounds alright the last time I chatted with him. Anyway, he had found himself a new chatmate, which coincidently happened to be a doglover too! Was it a gimmick for a Dr Do Little to chat with a doglover like the new found chatmate since he said, doggie is a secondary and the chatmate is the primary aim! haa haa!!!

- I no longer online to chat as often as how I used to, thus the reason my chatmate found himself a new chatmate! However, I am getting used to it as the time goes by. I could still remember how I used to get so addicted to going online where I even skip my trip to dreamland just to sit in front of that damn pc.. and I goes to bed only in wee hours when my eyes can no longer even stand, and I look in the mirror.. and all I saw was a panda, or maybe cuter? haa haa!! I wake up, and the 1st thing I do was going to my pc back again. Life was like.. so meaningless at that point.. there were totally nothing to look forward to... Looking back to those days in my life, I realised things really changed a lot... and I'm glad :)

Friday, July 01, 2005

A new little friend

I followed Ct to a place for some installation. The moment we reached there, I saw the little unfriendly little monster barking nonstop at us but keeps on wagging it's tail.

Little Jack then starts jumping and chasing, standing on two legs and etc. There were more. Little Jack has a little soft toy, Lobster! ahaaa!!! According to the owner, Little Jack was brought back from Canada by his son. Though never been sent for training before, Little Jack knows tricks like sitting down (and ohmigod, Little Jack really sits like a frog, rather than a dog!) and he can roll over and stand on back legs and etc.. brilliant..

and maid complained something about Little Jack. Doing business in the house?! And when the maid was complaining, Little Jack barked so loud.. haa haa! and the owner laughed.. Owner said, this is how Little Jack respond everytime he know he is at wrong... and he will be punished... to get in the toilet and being locked up! *poor thing*

.: reeys say she needs total silence NOW :.